Today I laid around for a while, and just happened to turn on a movie. It was called 'Manic' and it stars Joseph Gordon Levitt as an enraged teenager sent to a mental institution for troubled teens in order to help curb his anger. He meets an interesting cast of characters, who all seem normal enough, but each is plagued with some sort of psychological problem.. depression, mania, night terrors, or just a nasty penchant for fighting. It was very much in the style of 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest' in that the lead feels like an outsider, who does not belong in the outside world, and who sure as hell will not admit to belonging in an institution. The thing that I find striking is how easy it is to relate to the characters, regardless of how troubled they are. They just want a place to feel safe, to be listened to or understood. I think that that's truly what everyone wants. And although the film isn't necessarily a happy one, it is slightly hopeful, with its promise of freedom, pulling a motif out of Van Gogh's "Wheat Field with Crows."
I think everyone has a little bit of crazy in them. A bit of obsession, anger, fear. Oftentimes what we need is someone to listen. The characters in this film either open up or seem to fall apart, vanishing deeper into themselves. However, the ones that do reach out are the ones that recover. I really don't know why I'm writing this post. I will most likely never read it again, because even writing it makes me feel uncomfortable. But, if I do happen to, on a day when I'm feeling just a bit crazy, I hope to know to reach out to someone, a friend. It will really make all the difference in a world that is so ignorant of its own shortcomings.
Freedom.
Possibly my favorite scene from this movie involved an argument between two characters over the meaning of this painting. One, an artist, swore it was about freedom noting the birds flying away. The other, an agoraphobic manic depressive who is almost old enough to leave, but too scared to, notes that the road ends and that every work of art has borders, limiting freedom. We each can interpret things any way we desire, but the beauty of art is often looking for the brightness in something that seems dark.
So for those of you out there going through some tough times, know that you are understood by others. Get out, talk, live. Try and see the good in every situation. Don't try and fucking sugarcoat life, just take what you've been given and make the best of it. And find people who will help you to do so.
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