Friday, September 5, 2008
The Sound of Pulling Heaven Down. Blue October
I'm kind of going crazy. He doesn't seem to be interested whatsoever.. but it physically hurts when he ignores me. GAH. I'm feeling a little pathetic. And useless. I really would rather he just told me if I did something wrong?
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
I feel like my brains are going to spill out across the keyboard.
I can't keep so many thoughts in my head at one time, its dangerous. I decided that it has been too long since I SERIOUSLY blogged. I felt the odd sensation that I needed to write. Not that I necessarily want to, but that if I didn't the words would rip straight out of me onto paper anyway. So I chose the computer, deciding that if the pen was mightier than the sword, than the keypad is surely mightier than the crazy chest bursting time bomb trying to go off within me. I guess I should start with what I have been up to lately. I never seem to remember all the things that I want to write about. I think so much at one time, that I end up forgetting and getting frustrated and then quitting far too early (see nearly all other bloggings). But I vow to earnestly try to remember all the pointless shit that I wanted to ramble about in the first place.
AND away we go....
As of late the movie crew have decided that in order to spark intelligent conversation, there can not be more than 3 people in the room. Four bad, three amazing, two acceptable, one fucking crazy. Rule number 2- Alex is not allowed. You see, Alex says things before thinking about them. In the same night that he blasted interracial couples, he talked about wishing he had a time machine. He probably should use that time machine to go back and completely erase the prejudiced hoopla that escaped his brain.
The conversations mostly revolve around God. The taboo of all taboos. The one sure good in the world among the millions of vile evil acts taken out in his/her name. Kevin and I are mostly in agreement on this subject. We both love God very much, but clearly find it hard to comprehend belief structures. I know I am going to offend nearly everyone by saying that I love the idea of simply being a good person with a spiritual nature. Gandhi once said that all religions are true, and I sincerely wish that everyone believed this. They all center around good being good and evil being evil with, in my opinion some minor differences. But why violence, prejudice? Why are people, who claim to be dedicated to doing the work of God, also killers, rapists, racists etc. I think I may be straying off topic, and I don't really like to tread the line between acceptable and offensive writing, so I will stop with this subject.
Our group, besides dealing with issues that are way beyond any human's mental capacity, has been struggling with its own problems. Dana, who I do love very much, regardless of what some people think, has been causing somewhat of a rift. I am downright offended by what she says sometimes. Honestly if you have a problem with me I would rather you tell me to my face than sending Sarah cryptic text messages about "the others" corrupting her and manipulating her. I must be frank when I say that true manipulation is crying on the phone to your so called best friends threatening to kill yourself for not being with them, even though you were clearly invited. And then telling them everythings fine and that you were joking. Suicide is no joke. It is a serious matter and I am hurt by the fact that you would play that card with us. We stood by you when the guys told us that you were changing Sarah for the worst. I would appreciate it if you wouldn't mindfuck us like that. Thanks.
On a lighter note, I have nearly finished my summer reading. It feels wrong saying that sentence with 20 days left until school, and not 20 hours. The Road was creepy. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime was an insightful look at an autistic boy. Life of Pi was fantastic! It is beautiful and sad and sickening. Its one of those books where you don't know how to feel at the end because 14 different emotions are seeping out of you.
I have been reading The Sea for some time now. If you know me well, you will be aware that normally I speed through books. And while the Sea is by far the shortest of my books, I haven't been able to wrap my head around it. The others seem so colorful by comparison. Although the Road is very dark and the others are too in their own way, the very much realistic events in the Sea just get to you. The premise is essentially a widower looking back at his past in order to figure out his future. I wonder if I can learn anything from the past. Sometimes I will sit and ponder, thinking about mistakes I made, or things I should have said differently. But I don't think the character is examining his past because he feels like he needs to learn, I think he is trying to escape the somewhat zombie like state he has been in since the death of his wife. He just wants to feel something again, which is awfully tragic. Sorry I don't mean to bore you with my terrible analysis of my latest read. I'll move on.
I love my sister. More than any other person in the world. Lately she has been so angry with everyone and it is getting her in trouble. Shes even been lying to me. She told my mother that the only person she can tell everything to is her friend Nicole. That sucked to hear. I thought I was her best friend. I protected her when I knew I should have told my parents about stupid stuff she did, and she says that she can't trust me with everything. I tell her everything and it just sucks when you find out that the person you're closest to doesn't trust you anymore. I don't know what I did. Oh, well. She has been getting into a ton of trouble lately and even threatened my mother. We all had a long talk and she said that she just lets all her emotions build up inside of her, and then they just end up rocketing out of her. I suggested that she go see someone to talk to, but she got sort of offended. I tried to explain to her about when I used to go see Kim and how much it helped but she really didn't listen. Sigh...
I am really trying to stay off the depressing subjects, but I keep finding them. Surprisingly enough, I am not unhappy at all lately. I have been making some changes which I feel are really good for me. I started working out again, and have been eating much healthier. I am much more relaxed after I exercise. I think I really needed to start worrying about myself for once. If you know me very well, you also know how much I obsess over how other people are feeling. Kevin understands because we are the two most empathetic people in the world. We feel bad for people in movies, and even yell at them or get embarrassed when they make mistakes. Although I am not as bad as he is; Kevin holds his breath during drowning scenes in movies. But yes, I must admit that being a little selfish can be good once in a while. Not to mention that my dreams of an awesome abdominal area are just a couple months of hard work away.
Today I was reading an interview/article about Robert Downey Jr. in Rolling Stone. The man is fascinating. He is completely crazy, changes from day to day. I can hardly understand his superfluous manner of speaking, he says the strangest stuff, constantly speaking in metaphors. Although he tries to escape his tragic past, it is part of what makes him and his career so remarkable. Kudos to you, Robert.
Whilst on the subject of actors and movies and things I did today, I should mention a wonderful little movie I watched today called the Jane Austen Book Club. Clearly all the men are going to steer away from this one, but ladies if you are looking for a good chick flick head straight for this one. Oh and both men and women should check out Pineapple Express, possibly the funniest movie of the year. James Franco is a god when playing a drug dealer. And to think the role was almost Rogen's. Sigh.
Don't even ask about the love life. Its non existent. Thats right. STILL extinct. Apparently never to be resurrected. GAH. Its almost cruel because I am such a sickly, hopeless romantic. I think I will just wait until college.
Speaking of romantic, I must say that although I was originally displeased with Breaking Dawn, it has come to grow on me, and I am glad Mrs. Meyer ended it the way she did. Bravo!
And I think this is where I stop. I was going to keep going, but I once again forgot where exactly I was going with this thing. Eh, well.
Goodnight all.
AND away we go....
As of late the movie crew have decided that in order to spark intelligent conversation, there can not be more than 3 people in the room. Four bad, three amazing, two acceptable, one fucking crazy. Rule number 2- Alex is not allowed. You see, Alex says things before thinking about them. In the same night that he blasted interracial couples, he talked about wishing he had a time machine. He probably should use that time machine to go back and completely erase the prejudiced hoopla that escaped his brain.
The conversations mostly revolve around God. The taboo of all taboos. The one sure good in the world among the millions of vile evil acts taken out in his/her name. Kevin and I are mostly in agreement on this subject. We both love God very much, but clearly find it hard to comprehend belief structures. I know I am going to offend nearly everyone by saying that I love the idea of simply being a good person with a spiritual nature. Gandhi once said that all religions are true, and I sincerely wish that everyone believed this. They all center around good being good and evil being evil with, in my opinion some minor differences. But why violence, prejudice? Why are people, who claim to be dedicated to doing the work of God, also killers, rapists, racists etc. I think I may be straying off topic, and I don't really like to tread the line between acceptable and offensive writing, so I will stop with this subject.
Our group, besides dealing with issues that are way beyond any human's mental capacity, has been struggling with its own problems. Dana, who I do love very much, regardless of what some people think, has been causing somewhat of a rift. I am downright offended by what she says sometimes. Honestly if you have a problem with me I would rather you tell me to my face than sending Sarah cryptic text messages about "the others" corrupting her and manipulating her. I must be frank when I say that true manipulation is crying on the phone to your so called best friends threatening to kill yourself for not being with them, even though you were clearly invited. And then telling them everythings fine and that you were joking. Suicide is no joke. It is a serious matter and I am hurt by the fact that you would play that card with us. We stood by you when the guys told us that you were changing Sarah for the worst. I would appreciate it if you wouldn't mindfuck us like that. Thanks.
On a lighter note, I have nearly finished my summer reading. It feels wrong saying that sentence with 20 days left until school, and not 20 hours. The Road was creepy. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime was an insightful look at an autistic boy. Life of Pi was fantastic! It is beautiful and sad and sickening. Its one of those books where you don't know how to feel at the end because 14 different emotions are seeping out of you.
I have been reading The Sea for some time now. If you know me well, you will be aware that normally I speed through books. And while the Sea is by far the shortest of my books, I haven't been able to wrap my head around it. The others seem so colorful by comparison. Although the Road is very dark and the others are too in their own way, the very much realistic events in the Sea just get to you. The premise is essentially a widower looking back at his past in order to figure out his future. I wonder if I can learn anything from the past. Sometimes I will sit and ponder, thinking about mistakes I made, or things I should have said differently. But I don't think the character is examining his past because he feels like he needs to learn, I think he is trying to escape the somewhat zombie like state he has been in since the death of his wife. He just wants to feel something again, which is awfully tragic. Sorry I don't mean to bore you with my terrible analysis of my latest read. I'll move on.
I love my sister. More than any other person in the world. Lately she has been so angry with everyone and it is getting her in trouble. Shes even been lying to me. She told my mother that the only person she can tell everything to is her friend Nicole. That sucked to hear. I thought I was her best friend. I protected her when I knew I should have told my parents about stupid stuff she did, and she says that she can't trust me with everything. I tell her everything and it just sucks when you find out that the person you're closest to doesn't trust you anymore. I don't know what I did. Oh, well. She has been getting into a ton of trouble lately and even threatened my mother. We all had a long talk and she said that she just lets all her emotions build up inside of her, and then they just end up rocketing out of her. I suggested that she go see someone to talk to, but she got sort of offended. I tried to explain to her about when I used to go see Kim and how much it helped but she really didn't listen. Sigh...
I am really trying to stay off the depressing subjects, but I keep finding them. Surprisingly enough, I am not unhappy at all lately. I have been making some changes which I feel are really good for me. I started working out again, and have been eating much healthier. I am much more relaxed after I exercise. I think I really needed to start worrying about myself for once. If you know me very well, you also know how much I obsess over how other people are feeling. Kevin understands because we are the two most empathetic people in the world. We feel bad for people in movies, and even yell at them or get embarrassed when they make mistakes. Although I am not as bad as he is; Kevin holds his breath during drowning scenes in movies. But yes, I must admit that being a little selfish can be good once in a while. Not to mention that my dreams of an awesome abdominal area are just a couple months of hard work away.
Today I was reading an interview/article about Robert Downey Jr. in Rolling Stone. The man is fascinating. He is completely crazy, changes from day to day. I can hardly understand his superfluous manner of speaking, he says the strangest stuff, constantly speaking in metaphors. Although he tries to escape his tragic past, it is part of what makes him and his career so remarkable. Kudos to you, Robert.
Whilst on the subject of actors and movies and things I did today, I should mention a wonderful little movie I watched today called the Jane Austen Book Club. Clearly all the men are going to steer away from this one, but ladies if you are looking for a good chick flick head straight for this one. Oh and both men and women should check out Pineapple Express, possibly the funniest movie of the year. James Franco is a god when playing a drug dealer. And to think the role was almost Rogen's. Sigh.
Don't even ask about the love life. Its non existent. Thats right. STILL extinct. Apparently never to be resurrected. GAH. Its almost cruel because I am such a sickly, hopeless romantic. I think I will just wait until college.
Speaking of romantic, I must say that although I was originally displeased with Breaking Dawn, it has come to grow on me, and I am glad Mrs. Meyer ended it the way she did. Bravo!
And I think this is where I stop. I was going to keep going, but I once again forgot where exactly I was going with this thing. Eh, well.
Goodnight all.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
LIFE IN TECHNICOLOR. COLDPLAY
I felt that it was completely necessary to capitalize the title for this one. I had what was quite possibly the best night of my life last night, and not even the creepy foreign man seated next to me could ruin it!
First off.. Coldplay was unbelievable. Absolutely stunning. Better than Dave or Rufus. It also helps that Chris Martin is so undeniably gorgeous. The stands at the Wachovia Center were packed, and Julia and myself were seated... well.. not in the greatest section, but it didn't matter.
We left quite early and arrived around 7ish. We walked around, I bought some merch etc. Then we went in as the first openers came on. Forget the guys name, although he seemed to drop it after every song in an attempt to sell the "limited" number of CDs that he brought with him... SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION... (He is a Drexel student though) Then Santogold, who started off with L.E.S. Artistes. Wonderful song, I recommend you listen. This was right about the time that creepy foreign man sat down next to me and offered me a beer. After I explained that I wasn't even 18, let alone 21, he commented that he didn't even know if he was allowed to be seated next to me.. strange...
And then...
the lights dimmed..
and Life in Technicolor erupted.
Among the other songs on the set list (and the TWO encores, 5 then 2 songs each) were (pardon me if I forget some..):
Violet Hill
In My Place (one of my favorites, I nearly cry when he sings the "Please, please" interlude thing)
Viva La Vida (to which we had a sing-a-long, as Mr. Martin referred to it)
God Put a Smile Upon Your Face (A very interesting version filled with strange sound effects)
The Scientist (the whole band lept off stage and ran to the back, deciding that they had spent enough time with the people in the front rows, and played it entirely acoustic, accompanied by harmonica)
Yellow
Lost!
42
Lovers in Japan
Yes
Strawberry Swing
Politik
Green Eyes
Fix You
Clocks
Death Will Never Conquer (Sung by the drummer, as promised on their website)
Talk
Death and All His Friends
The Escapist
andddd the Dubliners, which was played at and increasing speed..
Chris Martin, stopping halfway through a song during the encore, apologized for rescheduling the concert, which was originally supposed to be June 29th (which would have really sucked because then I would not have been able to attend). "Oh shit, by the way, sorry we had to reschedule. The label told us that we would need to have nose jobs before the release of the new album and its my fault because I scheduled them that day..."
But yes... I nearly cried 3298751 times that night, out of sheer awe, or just the beauty and amazingness of the music. I have some terrible videos which i probably won't even bother uploading... Maybe one.. Violet Hill is the only semi good one. Not really sure how to use the uploader on this thing, so I'll experiment.
Nahh.. took entirely too long, so I gave up...
So.. look up "Bigger Stronger".. its one of the first songs they ever recorded, and its wonderful.
Well goodnight. I'm tired.
First off.. Coldplay was unbelievable. Absolutely stunning. Better than Dave or Rufus. It also helps that Chris Martin is so undeniably gorgeous. The stands at the Wachovia Center were packed, and Julia and myself were seated... well.. not in the greatest section, but it didn't matter.
We left quite early and arrived around 7ish. We walked around, I bought some merch etc. Then we went in as the first openers came on. Forget the guys name, although he seemed to drop it after every song in an attempt to sell the "limited" number of CDs that he brought with him... SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION... (He is a Drexel student though) Then Santogold, who started off with L.E.S. Artistes. Wonderful song, I recommend you listen. This was right about the time that creepy foreign man sat down next to me and offered me a beer. After I explained that I wasn't even 18, let alone 21, he commented that he didn't even know if he was allowed to be seated next to me.. strange...
And then...
the lights dimmed..
and Life in Technicolor erupted.
Among the other songs on the set list (and the TWO encores, 5 then 2 songs each) were (pardon me if I forget some..):
Violet Hill
In My Place (one of my favorites, I nearly cry when he sings the "Please, please" interlude thing)
Viva La Vida (to which we had a sing-a-long, as Mr. Martin referred to it)
God Put a Smile Upon Your Face (A very interesting version filled with strange sound effects)
The Scientist (the whole band lept off stage and ran to the back, deciding that they had spent enough time with the people in the front rows, and played it entirely acoustic, accompanied by harmonica)
Yellow
Lost!
42
Lovers in Japan
Yes
Strawberry Swing
Politik
Green Eyes
Fix You
Clocks
Death Will Never Conquer (Sung by the drummer, as promised on their website)
Talk
Death and All His Friends
The Escapist
andddd the Dubliners, which was played at and increasing speed..
Chris Martin, stopping halfway through a song during the encore, apologized for rescheduling the concert, which was originally supposed to be June 29th (which would have really sucked because then I would not have been able to attend). "Oh shit, by the way, sorry we had to reschedule. The label told us that we would need to have nose jobs before the release of the new album and its my fault because I scheduled them that day..."
But yes... I nearly cried 3298751 times that night, out of sheer awe, or just the beauty and amazingness of the music. I have some terrible videos which i probably won't even bother uploading... Maybe one.. Violet Hill is the only semi good one. Not really sure how to use the uploader on this thing, so I'll experiment.
Nahh.. took entirely too long, so I gave up...
So.. look up "Bigger Stronger".. its one of the first songs they ever recorded, and its wonderful.
Well goodnight. I'm tired.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
About A Girl.
THE ACADEMY IS... NEW SONG!!! so amazing.
myspace.com/theacademyis
listen. you must.
anyways.
whats new with you guys? anyone? roe has a new blog! so excited!
so. scarlett, dana, kelly and alex are m.i.a. for a while, therefore its just been kevin, sarah and i. interesting. today is day four for me for no meat, and like, seven months for sarah. whoa.
phil never called me last friday, but whatever. MAN FAST! love it.
dont really have much to talk about. the meet on saturday was horrible. i hit my head on the pool while doing backstroke and got killed by those beastly aquatic girls. im tired of trying anymore hah.
only a little bit until Coldplay concert! and then BREAKING DAWN. im so pumped, although i still need to do a lot of summer reading.... sigh...
im kind of done. never know what to write anymore. might get on later to write. not feeling it right now. im really tired because last night sal and josh came to the house and julia and i talked to them for a good hour and a half outside. psh. im gonna go nap.
myspace.com/theacademyis
listen. you must.
anyways.
whats new with you guys? anyone? roe has a new blog! so excited!
so. scarlett, dana, kelly and alex are m.i.a. for a while, therefore its just been kevin, sarah and i. interesting. today is day four for me for no meat, and like, seven months for sarah. whoa.
phil never called me last friday, but whatever. MAN FAST! love it.
dont really have much to talk about. the meet on saturday was horrible. i hit my head on the pool while doing backstroke and got killed by those beastly aquatic girls. im tired of trying anymore hah.
only a little bit until Coldplay concert! and then BREAKING DAWN. im so pumped, although i still need to do a lot of summer reading.... sigh...
im kind of done. never know what to write anymore. might get on later to write. not feeling it right now. im really tired because last night sal and josh came to the house and julia and i talked to them for a good hour and a half outside. psh. im gonna go nap.
Monday, June 16, 2008
"It's been very nice wasting time with you, Peter Peders."
Hola. Back again.
Anyone see the Tony's last night? They were spectacular, with the exception of Whoopi as the host... I wasn't really feeling it. In the Heights looks amazing, although I am still eager to see 2007's winner, Spring Awakening. I am disappointed, however, that the original Moritz, John Gallagher Jr., has not only retired from his role, but also quit his band, Old Springs Pike. Sigh...
Did anyone else notice that Cry Baby became a musical!? And then John Waters himself came to introduce the preview?!?! Awesome.
Speaking of the amazingness that is John Waters, I watched an awesome movie today with his Hollywood twin, Mr. Steve Buscemi. Interview stars a whole of two people, Buscemi and Sienna Miller in a crazy alcohol driven movie about, what else, and interview (gone awry). Its pretty much my new favorite movie. The entire time, a journalist and a soap star battle it out on a psychological field, each hoping to gain the upper hand on the other.But yes, moving on. Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends comes out tomorrow. I'm pretty pumped.
My dad told Julia and I that he would buy us tickets to see Coldplay for our birthday.. SCORE!
Today went pretty good, although I am still hoping to find a job! Fingers crossed everyone.
Peace and Love,
Jackie.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
The Wish. Josh Canova
Hm. Life is becoming increasingly complicated. Its annoying, because I swore to myself that I would learn to relax after school ended. HAH. Right.
My brain is fried, I'm unemployed, and currently stuck between two potentially good situations. I honestly have no idea what I'm doing anymore. I hate the way in summer that days seems to bleed together. It makes me anxious and nervous... as if i needed more of that.
Psh. I'll finish this later I guess.
My brain is fried, I'm unemployed, and currently stuck between two potentially good situations. I honestly have no idea what I'm doing anymore. I hate the way in summer that days seems to bleed together. It makes me anxious and nervous... as if i needed more of that.
Psh. I'll finish this later I guess.
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