I'm pretty confident that I'm slowing sinking into insanity.
I don't know what to think anymore. Lately, I've been quite.. how do I want to phrase this. Unhappy? Dissatisfied? I don't understand the world. I feel like I can't talk to anyone about it either. I really need to sort my thoughts out and I don't know how. I'm afraid that my friends will think I'm seriously overreacting, which is a possibility, or that I'm just insane. I don't get the world, or people's serious lack of respect and acceptance. I don't understand how people can expect so much out of one person. I hate the way I can't figure out exactly what I want to say. I need a mental health day, but I can't take one. Not now. I've seriously broken down alot. I'm not eating right, I can't find balance between schoolwork and everyday life. My days are bleeding together.
I want to see Kim again. But I can't. I don't want to go look for a new one either, it just wouldn't be the same. Everything is getting to me lately. Last night, they predicted snow. I wanted it so bad. I got up in the morning and literally cried. I don't know why. I never truly expected it at all. I'm having one of the worst freakouts ever. The worst part is, nothing can cheer me up long enough. Not Dinh's songs, not my mom's encouragement. I need these next two weeks to be over soon.
I don't know if I should even put this up.
Edit:
Sorry about this. Disregard.
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1 comment:
please don't think you can't vent to me. nothing you could say would seem ridiculous to me, of all people. i totally hear you on this one. all of us are way to absorbed by school right now. the past few weeks have been especially brutal.
i hope you're okay. you seem happier lately...but it's hard to tell with you sometimes!
love you<3
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