Alice in Wonderland Freewriting session!

Okay, so basically I am taking the hardest class of my life right now. I am learning how to write. Freewriting is the first step, because it allows your ideas to flow from you without ever once "lifting the pen" for a second. Basically, you being with an idea, or passage, or whatever and just WRITE. Without stopping.

I won't exactly be doing that. You see I have to write my first paper, but I still need to sort some ideas out. So I've done a couple freewrites and will be editing these, well not so much editing as THINKING through them via blog. Its much more comfortable for me because I can express myself in a way that I love.

To let you know where I am in this course, basically I have been writing a bit on the role of identity in Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland. More specifically, I am referencing a passage in which Alice is both mentally and physically changing, and cannot figure out "who she is."

I met with my writing assistant to shoot through some ideas and had to come back to my dorm and quickly write down a couple questions and thoughts down to see if anything could come to mind...I wrote down...

Why does Alice try and rationalize what is happening to her?

Because she is dreaming everything, why does she form a crisis for herself just so she can solve it?

How do children see adults.

She seems to be very scientific in the way that she approaches her problem.

What defines an adult/child?

Mental vs. physical change?

She tries to sound smart, but her ideas hold no weight

What does she mean by usual?

“queer” everything is

Why does she ask if shes changed in the night? She knows she began to grow in “Wonderland”- could she be referring to a mental change?

She , in saying “that’s the great puzzle,” seems to be acting like an adult.

If she thinks shes grown up, why does she ask if she is one of her friends?????

What does all this say about the text? What does the text say about this?

What the HELL is the pointing narrator doing, why is he/she pointing this direction?

Here is my original freewrite.. or as much of it as necessary...

I found this specific passage very interesting because of the way it explores identity. Ever since Alice stepped into Wonderland she seems to have forgotten much of what she knew in her world (including who she is?). She can't remember poems, math or even how proper things function. She no longer considers it surprising that simply by eating a piece of cake she can grow or shrink to bizarre heights. Alice then wonders, i her physical appearance constantly changes, is she a different person? Carroll seems to approach this question in many different ways. He changes her physical appearance as well as her mental state. First, Alice struggles to comprehend the way her physical changes affect her mentality. At one point, she believes that since she is physically "all grown up," i.e. she has grown to an immense stature, she must be an adult. But, what is an adult? Has Alice become an adult simply because she is much larger and taller than she previously was?

Heres where I went really off topic, in that I seriously veered away from the text. I talked about her possible identity crisis, and then compared that to various movies. Basically I wanted to know that if a person's mind is moved from their body to another, does that make them a different person. However, since Alice decides she must be in her own body, although it has grown much larger, this question didn't much apply. One assumes that Alice still looks like herself, just out of proportion. And mentally, Alice doesn't seem to recognize that she is still much herself. She still argues with herself, as if she were two people...

Back on track. I went to talk to Laura and we brainstormed. Basically we talked about the following.. She would ask me why I thought certain things, and I would explain.. We came up with more questions, so in an effort to embrace confusion, here I go...

Why does Alice try and rationalize what's happening to her?

Alice is going through some kind of an adult/child crisis here. She basically thinks that in becoming bigger, she is an adult. So naturally, adults try to rationalize everything. Her first inclination is to carefully go through some sort of process that will clear up all her doubts. Rather than FREAKING OUT like a normal child (or perhaps ANY person would do, but she doesn't because she might think that adults have it all together), she slows down and calmly explains to herself that she simply must be a different person. Its like she is using some sort of scientific method, carefully showing evidence for each part of the puzzle. She seems to act smart, although her ideas hold no weight. Its like when a child explains a big idea to another child-- they may come off as exceedingly intelligent to the other child, but to an adult, the explanation may seem like rubbish. This could have a lot to do with how children see adults. Children are often fascinated by anyone older than them, even if its only by a couple years. They can perceive a rather young individual as old, simply because that person is older than them. Often, children look up to adults, and try to mimic their actions, believing it will make them look more mature and sophisticated, when it sometimes does just the opposite. SO WHAT? Is Alice trying to act like an adult because she thinks she looks like one? She is trying to think like an adult.

I'm getting lost... back to text for help...

Alice wonders "who in the world am I?"

Its funny that she defines identity by age in many cases. But what defines an adult? There is no strict border between adulthood and childhood. What does the text have to say about this? Often, the text seems as confused as Alice. Maybe its because there is no definite answer.. However, since everything means, I must make some effort. What does the text say about being an adult? Alice, not necessarily the text, defines adulthood as being "bigger." But does this mean that each time she shrinks and grows she is reverting back to childhood and then growing to an adult again? If age defines identity, then does size define age? And does mentality simply follow after that. Does mental growth follow physical maturity? Alice seems eager to follow her physical growth with mental growth, which is presumably why she theorizes that she has become a different person. But heres where it gets tricky... WHY if she believes she has become an adult, does she also question whether or not she has become one of her CHILD friends? It simply doesn't fit.... And if it doesn't fit, then SO WHAT.

That will have to be all for now. I guess I'll show this to my mother.. Its a bit repetitive.. ew.

Thanks.