Hold your head high heavy heart (And save your strength for the morning after)

Whoa. Christ, its been awhile. Soooo I got an actual journal which is why I haven't written on here in so long.
I'm quite angry with the circumstances as of late. People are so rude to others and then act two-faced. I don't understand. If you are going to gain someone's trust, please don't go off and fuck them sideways. Lately, I'm not sure who to trust. Although, its really not me who should be worried. So, I have a friend who made some decisions that people obviously disagree with. Well, who cares? Its not your buisness and you don't know the whole story! I hardly knew any of the story until last night, and I'm confident that I STILL DONT KNOW it all. So please, shut the hell up. Because you hardly have room to talk. Now, don't get me wrong. You are all my friends. But I hate feeling like I have to pick a side. Fuck yes, I will defend her because she followed her heart and did what she thought was right. I'm not sure if I completely agree with her decisions, but I will not stab her in the back. When I earn people's trust, I intend to keep it, and I know I have been fucking up lately because I have to be friends with everyone. That really isn't completely feasable, but I'm still going to try and make it work.
So. There it is.

This weekend was a lot of fun though.
Friday was pretty good minus a little trash talking.

Saturday was fabulous. We celebrated Care Bear's birthday. It was spendid as Kayla would say.. and I do realize that I am missing an "l."

@$&@$^@#$%.
Have a nice day... week...

Tiny Dancer. Elton John

HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Been so busy with school lately that I forgot to update.



Well, before I start telling you about school, I must tell you about my top fives of the summer!


Top 5 Events of my Summer
1. DMB
2. Swimming Banquet
3. Rufus at the World Cafe
4. Calc with Dinh, and then two days after with Dinh and Dig
5. Nights out with O'Hara and Mads crews.



Top 5 Songs that I (re)discovered over the summer.
1. If I Had a Million Dollars- The Barenaked Ladies
2. Seed- The Academy Is...
3. Amber- 311
4. Ants Marching- DMB
5. Instant Pleasure- Rufus Wainwright



Top 5 Things that I will miss about summer.
1. sleep
2. no homework
3. late nights at home watching really crappy movies with Julia.
4. swimming
5. the kids (went back to Maine)



Now, on to talk about school.

Went back on the 6th. Wonderful.

My roster isssss:

1. History Sr. Lucy
2. Calc Dugan
3. Latin Peters
4. Physics Williams
5. Lunch
6. Spanish Budiwsky
7. English Borosiewicz (sp???)
8. Theology Mc Kenna



Love Sr. Lucy. She is a goddess. Dugan isn't bad.... yet. Peters is easy. Williams is... strange. FIFTH LUNCH SUCKS MAJOR ASS. Budiwsky is ehhh... Borosiewicz might just be my favorite. McKenna's class.. is a joke.



Went though my classes on the 6th and 7th. No problems really.



Friday night Scar, Sarah, Kelly, Kevin, Alex and I went to the mall. We shopped, ate and made a build a bear. A man stopped us (Scar, Kevin, Alex and I- Kelly and Sarah were elsewhere) in the mall outside of build a bear, claiming that he only needed to sell one more ghost or he would get fired.... So we all convinced Kevin to cough up the $16 needed to save this man's job..... We did the dance and put 4 hearts in.. it was.. interesting. We named it Diabeetus (and yes, we know its spelled incorrectly) after Kevin's diabetic cat Francis.



Look! Its Aunt Jackie and Diabeetus!


















Saturday was Michelle's Wedding. Maryland.
She looked beautiful and even cried during her vows. Whoa... Mrs. Wilkinson. Weird.
The reception was awesome. Their song was "Tiny Dancer." All of the parentals got drunk, along with the bridal party and mostly anyone over 18/19... My aunts were hogging the dance floor.
Met up with Darren. Haven't seen him in FOREVER. He, conveniently, has no recollection of being a total douche when he was younger. He doesn't seem to remember throwing a snake at Julia when we were like, 8.
Spent some time with the cousins, including the beautiful bride herself. After 3 hours of dancing, we limped back to the Best Western and slept... a while..


Sunday... went home.
Aunt Nancy's Baby shower. SWEEEEEET.
Had major allergic reaction to something.. my throat started to close (hell yes!)


Monday.. the usual.
Tuesday.. the usual.

Today.. nothing new..
Roe and Dinh wrote me a note this morning.. it was wonderful.
Especially the creepy part about Roe smelling the lock on my locker...

well yes.

much love all,
jackie

P.S. OHARA! WTF? only one class with Mama Roe? I'm already dying....

Chop Chop. The Academy Is...

'ELLO!
How've ya been lately?

Well, the last week or so hasn't been too exciting.
I've just been fighting off around 5,000 breakdowns.

First off, the kids went back to Maine last Saturday, and Bob has been away the past week. My mother has been working constantly to paint the house before he gets back. Calculus has been kicking my ass lately, and for a while I didn't think I would finish on time.

It got the worst on Thursday. I got home from work and opened my book, only to finish one problem and stare at another 99 for the next 45 minutes. I freaked, while my wonderful father yelled at me. For some reason, he came over my mother's just in time to hear me hyperventilating. GREAT. Just what I needed. But, I came to my senses, and half-sobbing, got out my phone and called Dinh. She explained a couple problems to me and, thankfully, agreed to come over the next night. On Friday we spent 2 hours doing math, and then chatted (about things that will NOT be discussed ever again) for the next 2 hours. Thank God for Dinh. What would I do without her.

Although I feel better about calc, I am not kidding when I say its kicking my ass. It sucks the life out of you. My days are bleeding together. Haha.

Oh, back to Thursday night. I quit my job even though I would only work 4 more days.. whatever.

Today, went to Digs with Dinh, and did some more math. We are so exciting.
Then, came home, expecting a call from Scar which never came.... wonderful. Oh, well.






I've got myself to blame for this
I've tried to compensate for everything I'm not
And every face forgotten
You felt the sun warming your bed
You look so quintessential
Pressed against that cross
In the face of what was lost
Still I am not asking much of me
You're ignoring the matter

You'll shut me up and bleed me dry...


p.s.
Anyone wanna go to the TAI... concert?
11/1 Electric Factory?

The Sound of Music. Julie Andrews

So, finally time to tell you about DMB.

First off, we ended up getting picked up by Stacie around 2 hours earlier than I assumed we would be leaving... Stac drove us to Casey's, and then went on her own to pick up Sine. Stacie returned around an hour later to pick up Casey, Jul, and I. We then went to get Stacie's sister, Steph, who had to be in work at 3:30, even though it was already like 3:45. Steph dropped us off at Wallingford train station and we ended up missing the right train by like 10 minutes, so we had to wait another 40. We caught the R3 and ended up at Market East. From there we walked to the Gallery for a bite to eat. Next we asked directions and caught bus 17 to go to Penn's Landing. Once at Penn's Landing, we ran (literally) just to catch the 6 o'clock ferry. We walked to the parking lot where a zillion tailgaters were partying, and I watched everyone get smashed (not my favorite part of the day...). Then was off to the Tweeter, and the night was awesome after that. DMB was amazing, and the crowd went beserk over "Too Much," "Warehouse," "Crash Into Me," and of course, the finale, "Ants Marching." He came out and performed some songs for the encore, and by far the best was "Gravedigger."

I have to say that Boyd Tinsley was freaking amazing on his solos.

Also, last Friday, I went to the World Cafe for a free at noon concert with Rufus Wainwright and Neko Case. It was spectacular. Neko came on first, and I wasn't sure what to expect from a country-pop artist. Her voice was amazing. Then Rufus came on and performed "the Art Teacher" and "Going to a Town." He began to play "Sansoucci" when his guitar strap broke, and the funniest 3 minutes of live radio happened. He started the song over, this time sitting on a stool with the mic lowered, but then the mic began to slip. Each time, a WXPN employee would run on stage and move the mic up, and Rufus would have to adjust himself. It was hilarious. Then, he played my dad's favorite song, "Hallelujah," with his sister, Lucy. I thought at first he would bring out Martha, his other sister, to sing with him. (FYI Martha Wainwright sings with Snow Patrol on "Set the Fire to the Third Bar" off of Eyes Open). But, Lucy was very good. Then, they interviewed Rufus, who acutally claimed that he went to Berlin "to become heterosexual. But the Queen in me won out!" My dad was kinda freaked out at this point. Afterward, he came BACK on stage and did one of my favorite songs, "California."

And Friday night, Julia, Virginia and I watched HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 2! Don't laugh, it was cute. Plus, Zac Efron is veryyyyyyy good looking.

Just look at the eyes!

Everything is Alright. Motion City Soundtrack

OKAY!


Hopefully this goes okay the second time around....


Anyways.. the picture above is from the banquet last Sunday. It was super.
I GOT SECOND PLACE BACKSTROKE FOR THE DIVISION... like.. what?
I can't do well in sports! That's Julia's job!
Well, it was indeed a superfuncoolawesome time filled with dinner, dancing, and slideshows?
I was sore the next day (inevitably) after dancing for like.. 2 hours straight... to meaningless rap songs about partying, slapping some hoes around, and lip gloss. Just me, Jul, Cheryl, Meelz, Liam, Danny, his g/f Paige, Lauren, and like 20 little kids.
OH! I've finally decided that I will indeed miss Jay, my swim team coach. (He's to my right in the picture.) Although we've never ever gotten along and had many a prank war, he's still one of the best coaches I've ever had and tries to push you because he KNOWS you can do better. I hope he goes far in the Coast Guard.



Backtrack... SATURDAY.
Barbeque at Dad's old friend's buisness. He owns a meat thing? They make meat... err process meat? Anyways, it was fun. Here's the lowdown.
I hate going to parties where I don't know anyone.. I feel uncomfortable. But thanks to my darling sister who doesn't give a shit about what people think, I warmed up and had a great time. Basically this is how the day went: We ate (pig, chicken, alligator... the usual...), played volleyball (just me and Julia.. we were bad... reallyyyyy bad), swam (they have an inground pool at a buisness???), ate more, and played more volleyball. END OF STORY.



Anyways... MONDAY.
Had work til 9, but instead we closed at 7 (yes!)
And what, you may ask, does one do when one gets out of work two hours early and the night is still young? Simple.. summer cleaning with the father and sister.
Now, I don't know if you've ever cleaned with my father, but normally its not fun. Like, it takes horrible experiences to a whole new level..
But, this time, it was actually enjoyable.
We cleaned out the closet down the basement and found a bunch of stupid shit my mother bought while her and my father were still married. My dad went on a rant about how his money paid for a pile of bullshit..and well:

Father: "What are these? Decorative eggs... on a stick? Why would anyone buy decorative eggs.. on a stick? You can't even EAT them!"
Me: "I... don't... know."
Father: "What the fuck was your mother thinking--- what is that?! Oh my God, its a JAR! With a Santa hat! Who BUYS THIS SHIT?!"

So yes, successful.

BTW, we gave the jar that had a Santa hat for a lid back to my mother.. she proceeded to throw it in the trash.



TUESDAY.
OFF! I don't know how, but for some reason, we are getting an average of 3 days off each!
So, both Julia and I were off; we woke up, cleaned, and then watched Cruel Intentions. Ryan Phillipe......



WEDNESDAY. (aka today)
NO WORK AGAIN. Hollerrr.
Went to get Bobby from his aunt's and ended up staying to watch 300 on Blueray?
300 was spectacular... except right as I tell everyone that the one guy is just sooooooo hot, hottie gets his head chopped off.. nice..
BTW, Blueray is awesome..
Went to my dads, read some more of Demon in the Freezer, which is really good especially for summer reading. However, Kite Runner was much better and probably one of the best books I've ever read.
And then I went downstair, on this computer, and started writing this.



Until next time,
Jackie


P.S.- I recently found out that Steve is reading this... dunno why? I suck at writing but... HEY STEVE!

FUCK!

I had a whole post but it got deleted.
So, FUCK.
I'll retype it later.
FUCK!

Only Happy When It Rains. Garbage

Jesus Christ.
Someone should remind me to update this thing once in a while.

Well... it seems that I am, indeed, only happy when it rains lately.
Why you ask?
Answer: It seems to be the only time that I get off work.
I feel like I have absolutely no time for friends anymore. I'm ready to quit.
I need to get away from the pool soon. Between work and swim team, I'm there nearly half my summer.

Will update more later. Don't feel like it now. Or ever.

But before I leave,
I finished HP and the DH, which was wonderful.
hopefully I don't get sued for this:

Harry: Is this real? Or has this been happening inside my head?
Dumbledore: Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?