The World Has Its Shine (But I Would Drop It On A Dime). Cobra Starship

Mental Health Day.
I stayed home. Slept a while. It was nice. I thought alot. Thats the worst part about having free time. I tend to think too much. Mostly about whether decisions I made/have to make are/were right. Oye vey.
I woke up around 9:30. Ate some cheeriossss. Watched St. Elmo's Fire.

Billy: Jules, y'know, honey... this isn't real. You know what it is? It's St. Elmo's Fire. Electric flashes of light that appear in dark skies out of nowhere. Sailors would guide entire journeys by it, but the joke was on them... there was no fire. There wasn't even a St. Elmo. They made it up. They made it up because they thought they needed it to keep them going when times got tough, just like you're making up all of this. We're all going through this. It's our time at the edge.

What an awesome quote. Its too bad that, scientifically speaking, that entire speech is incorrect, but I'm willing to ignore that if you are.
Typical 80s teen movie. I love it.

Then after watching that, I went upstairs, and did some history homework while listening to the Frays album. Which by the way, I forgot how depressing that thing is. After like the first song its all downhill. But its okay because its amazing.

Bob called not long after that and picked me up. I went to my moms and did some more homework before watching Clerks.

Coroner: My only question is how did she come to have sex with the dead guy?
Dante Hicks: She thought it was me.
Coroner: What kind of convenience store do you run here?

Oh yes. This is a must see. Just two guys goofing off at a store, and the one bitches the whole time about how he was supposed to be off that day.

Randal Graves: Oh what, what's with you, man? You haven't said anything for like twenty minutes. What the hell's you're problem?
Dante Hicks: This life.
Randal Graves: This life?
Dante Hicks: Why do I have this life?
Randal Graves: Have some chips, you'll feel better.
Dante Hicks: I'm stuck in this pit, working for less than a slave wages. Working on my day off, the goddamn steel shutters are closed, I deal with every backward ass fuck on the planet. I smell like shoe polish. My ex-girlfriend is catatonic after fucking a dead guy. And my present girlfriend has suck 36 dicks.
Randal Graves: 37.

Oh well. my connection is lost. hopefully this will post?
Any way i have to get back to more homework. JOY!


Stay cool.
Jackiieeee.

Vienna. The Fray

Well. I did it. It was hard and it sucked, but I did it. For once I decided to put myself first. I just hope he can forgive me. I don't want it to be weird again, but believe me it would have been weirder if I had given in. I'm so sorry, but I just couldn't do it again.

I love my friends who have stood by my decision even though I look like a douchebag.

Life on Mars? David Bowie

I'm totally getting back into the usual flow of life. Thank God. Its about fucking time.
Going to stage crew again! ITS SUPER. Although I do miss when like EVERYONE was on it. Oh well. Who knew Saturdays at school and crappy Kentaco food would be so gooooooood.
Maura is now on crew! YAY!
Today at school was bizarre.
Instead of doing math in math class, we used motion detectors.. and then made pamphlets for Dugan's son's wedding?
Some girl had a kind of breakdown today in William's and just walked out of class. Left all her stuff.
Borusiewicz attacked me with a dead ferret today.. actually 3 sewn together. Weird. She was demonstrating how an aside works and beckoned me to the front of class. As if that wasn't weird enough I had to stand there with my eyes closed while she rummaged through a closet and pulled something out.. Everyone laughed and I heard Dinh yell "Squirrel???" You see I have a fear of squirrels and Dinh thought she pulled a squirrel out of the closet. So like 3 seconds later I feel this furry thing.... and BAM. FERRETS.
And to top that off we watched yet another abortion in Morality Class. Oh God.

I miss the kids.. and Casey.. oye vey.

This is a short post. Listen to Hunky Dory by Bowie.. or the Sweeney Todd Soundtrack.

Ay. Dios mio.

I'm pretty confident that I'm slowing sinking into insanity.
I don't know what to think anymore. Lately, I've been quite.. how do I want to phrase this. Unhappy? Dissatisfied? I don't understand the world. I feel like I can't talk to anyone about it either. I really need to sort my thoughts out and I don't know how. I'm afraid that my friends will think I'm seriously overreacting, which is a possibility, or that I'm just insane. I don't get the world, or people's serious lack of respect and acceptance. I don't understand how people can expect so much out of one person. I hate the way I can't figure out exactly what I want to say. I need a mental health day, but I can't take one. Not now. I've seriously broken down alot. I'm not eating right, I can't find balance between schoolwork and everyday life. My days are bleeding together.
I want to see Kim again. But I can't. I don't want to go look for a new one either, it just wouldn't be the same. Everything is getting to me lately. Last night, they predicted snow. I wanted it so bad. I got up in the morning and literally cried. I don't know why. I never truly expected it at all. I'm having one of the worst freakouts ever. The worst part is, nothing can cheer me up long enough. Not Dinh's songs, not my mom's encouragement. I need these next two weeks to be over soon.
I don't know if I should even put this up.



Edit:
Sorry about this. Disregard.

Liar. Taking Back Sunday

Wow. So much has happened in the past week. Julia has lost her 3 best friends, and NONE was her fault. A little while ago, Casey got veryyyy drunk and Julia was worried and told her to slow down. Casey's mother, aka my dad's ex, is now in prison because she hits the bottle a little to hard. Julia was just worried that "like mother like daughter" would happen. So anyway, Casey swung at my sister and Julia pushed her. Then they got over it and we all hung out together. But about a two weeks ago, Casey, Stac, and Sine stopped answering Julia's calls out of the blue. The "JCSS" in their profiles becomes "LHMB," designed to include Alex Miller, rather than my darling sister. So Julia questions what happens and Casey tells her that things just can't stay the same. Julia is confused and texts Stac. Stac doesnt get back to her until the next day in school in which she writes "Im better friends with case so just stop textin me cause im tired of your shit." Ouch.
So last night, Chris Furm calls Julia and tells her that Case, Stac, Sine and Alex came over to Evan's while he was there, asking Chris to call Julia and tell her to come over. Apparently they were going to beat her up. Case was like a sister to Julia. And to me. We met 8 years ago, when my mom dated her dad. Then my dad dated her mom. But right now, I am prepared to rip her still beating heart out of her ass if she even touches my sister. The same with the others. Fucking bitches. Im so angry because Julia has never deserved this. Shes the one who cares the most to tell her best friend what is hard to hear, and she gets hurt. What the fuck? I would die if i lost Julia as a friend, and I am confident that they will come running back to her. If they dont, believe me they are shit. Nothing more than that. Worthless.
So believe me, if any of you even start anything with Julia, it will end bad for you, I promise. I can only hope that you realize what you have done, and are miserable because of it.
Don't think badly of me for saying this either. Im just fucking pissed. I have never seen her a mess. I'm the screwed up moody depressive one, not her.
I can't even imagine how she feels right now. If i lost Roe, Dig or Dinh I am confident that i would die.

I've Got A Theory. Buffy the Musical

I hope you had a wonderful Chrismahanakwanzukah. Happy Holidays! Happy New Year! Whatevvv.


So. Haven't written in this for so long, so I figured I best get one in before 2008 hits. Damn.
Life has been pretty good. I'm nearing the end of Christmas break (sigh...) and wondering how to squeeze as much excitement as possible into the next 4 days. I am so lazy. I wait for people to approach me with plans, rather than make my own.

The kids are here right now. We almost have a full house (minus Jim). Its pretty crazy, but thats the way i like it. Good News! They are taking like, 3 days off school so that they can stay the next week!

Christmas went well. I got a camera and took like 170 pictures, which i may upload to facebook in order to bore you with pictures of my psychotic family. Nice!
Julia and I have been watching our new 7 season boxset of Buffy the Vampire Slayer nonstop. Cheers to the best show ever madeeee.

Just some stuff from my favorite episode. I'm a nerd:

Giles: Magic! Magic's all balderdash and chicanery. I'm afraid we don't know a bloody thing. Except I seem to be British, don't I? Uh, and a man. With... glasses. Well, that narrows it down considerably.

...

Giles: We'll get our memory back, it'll all be right as rain.

Spike: Oh, listen to Mary Poppins. He's got his crust all stiff and upper with that nancy-boy accent. You English men are always so... bloody hell! [counting them on his fingers.] Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks. Oh god... I'm English.

Giles: Welcome to the nancy tribe.

[Spike looks at the name tag in the tweed jacket he's wearing, believing he is Giles' son.]

Spike: "Made with care for Randy"? Randy Giles? Why not just call me "Horny" Giles, or "Desperate-for-a-Shag" Giles? I knew there was a reason I hated you!

Giles: Randy's... a family name, undoubtedly.

Yep. I'm a huge nerd. But you would be too, if you just watched the greatest show ever made.
Anyways.... the family got a Wii. I haven't really used it yet. I'd probably end up killing it.

Well this is kinda short, but I'll probably edit. I have to go eat.

I