Crosses. Jose Gonzales

"Don't you know that I'll be around to guide you,

Through your weakest moments, to leave them behind you?"

Michelle,

You can't imagine how much your kind words meant to me. I think its time for me to let you know how much I love you. I know things are very hard right now, and it breaks my heart to see how much suffering you are going through. But you are so strong! I could never have made it through what you have been put through over the past year or so. Its so hard to believe that just this time last year, we really started talking. You drove me home from show practice, and I would feel so awkward and scared that you really didn't want to give me a ride. You did it because you are so incredibly sweet and amazing, and all it took was a kind offering and a wrong turn for us to be the greatest friends ever. Only you and I would get lost in Jersey, admit how embarrassed we were, and then in our sick self-deprecation, tell the ENTIRE school the next day about our forays into the Garden State.

It first hit me that we were best friends during that time when you were hurting so badly. Dargay didn't want to tell me anything, because she said you and I were too close. Go figure that in my lack of confidence, it took another person to notice that you and I were becoming best friends. I was so in awe of how wonderful you were that I couldn't accept that I could ever be worthy of your friendship.

So the point of this letter/post is basically that you are perfect. And boys are fickle. And I know I say it so many times that its starting to sound a bit ridiculous, but one day you will meet a boy who treats you with the respect and love that you deserve. And I understand that you are feeling alone right now... but don't let that get you down. Try new things, look for people that inspire you and make you smile just by the way they act or things they do for others. Thats what drew me to you and hopefully it will lead you to the kind of people that you will love.

You really are the one person that I can trust with anything. Its completely insane how much I opened up to you over the past year... well I completely opened up to you, actually... I have never done that before. I think people are weirded out by how close we are, but its just normal for us. So don't worry. Because I'll always be here for you, no matter when you need me. Just call my name, and I'll be there!

Love always,

Jackie