Click Click Click Click. Bishop Allen

Hello Hello!
I must first start off by doing a Mel Gibson "FREEEEEEEDOMM" yell for having finally finished Annie. I do feel the need to say, however, that I thoroughly enjoyed my time with the Tech wingers. We danced, and sang (terribly), as well as moving ridiculously heavy objects across stage. Although, being slight as I am, I left the latter to the others, whilst I controlled the backdrops.
So many great things have come out of the show. First, I must point out all the wonderful new people I met, and all the equally wonderful people that I had met prior to the show, but for some odd reason never had the opportunity to really truly meet them. Michelle and I, on our long car rides, have grown so much closer, and I feel as though I have someone who truly understands me. Which is wonderful.
Oh and the cast parties! They just make me impatient for Snowball. Kevin and I shall be attending, as well as dancing with and inappropriately groping eachother.

In other news, there is no relationship... still.
Although a certain someone has been dropping hints, or I could just be imagining it.. again..

Random Note.
Yesterday I watched an episode of Inside the Actor's Studio with Daniel Radcliffe. He is actually realllllly funny. I enjoyed it and I highly recommend it. Theres one part when he's talking about what he would like God to say to him at the pearly gates and he replies "I would like to see him smoking a pipe infront of a fire place, and then turn to me and say 'Isnt it funny, you know, we're the same height?'"
I lost it. I have no idea why.. I thought it was hysterical.

That and the Robert Pattinson interview with Ellen when he talks about his car. Awesome.

I actually forget what the point of this was. I dont believe that there is a point anymore.

About two weeks from now I should hear from Swarthmore. God what an amazing Christmas present that would be. I don't think anyone can conceive of how badly I want this.

Other news.
Started reading Franny and Zooey. Salinger. Don't really understand him, although I love reading him. I feel terrible about admitting to not understanding Catcher. Its like, the American classic. THE American Classic. And I never even knew he was being psychoanalyzed the whole time. But F and Z seem pretty straigtforward. Or at least I hope so. Other than that I haven't done much. I need to start reading more, cutting down on everything else. Now that I have free time, I'm mainly focusing on three things: 1) a healthy diet, 2) getting back on the wagon of my normal exercise routine and 3) reading more often.

Uhm. I guess I should work on my ode. Its pretty terrible. I don't really feel like writing poetry at the moment, let alone poetry in spanish.
Here's what I've got so far (and by so far, I mean that there is only a slight chance that I will revise this piece of crap in any way):

La Oda a un Libro
Un libro abierto es una ventana
A otro mundo.
Dentro de las paginas,
Una persona puede ver en la alma de un autor.
Es un avión de papel y tinta
Que transporta la menta.
De Shakespeare a Austen
Y poemas a dramas,
Palabras enturbian la línea entre de lo real y lo irreal.
Dicen cuentos de la historia, amor y aventura.
Un libro es un refugio
para la imaginación.

Its probably all incorrect, but I can't bring myself to care.

I want to do a survey kind of.. I'll go find one!
Here's and odd one...


When's the last time you ran? About a month ago.. Its too cold for my lungs.
Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? No. I'm not into the whole grunge thing.
What are you dreading right now? Ahhhh... relationships..
Do you celebrate 420? Nope.
Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night? Normally, around 7.
If anyone came to your house on your "lazy days" what would ya'll do? Ya'll? Strange word. Uhm... Watch TV/movies while cuddling with my dog on the couch.
Who last grabbed your ass? Uh.. its been awhile.
Have you ever been on your school's track team? Nope. But I love the track team!
Do you own a pair of Converse? Yes. I wear them with dresses.. that's not odd..
Did you copy and paste this survey? Yes.
Do you eat raw cookie dough? Yessssss.
Have you ever kicked a vending machine? Once, not the most intelligent or graceful moment.
Don't you hate it when the radio ruins good songs by playing them over and over? Yes.
Do you watch Trading Spaces? I used to. What was the name of that one designer.. Hilda or something.. strange womannn.
How do you eat oreos? Duh, you take them apart.
Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone? Yes... sadly.
Are you cocky? Would saying no make a yes in this situation?
Could you live without a computer? Maybe.
Do you wear your shoes in the house? Not often.
Who or what sleeps with you? My stuffed TRex, Rexy. As in "Sexy Rexy."
At what age did you find out that Santa wasn't real? 8.
How many phones, house phones and cell phones are in your house? uh.. 4?
What do you do when you're sad? Listen to the Cure. Or this song by Athlete, it's called "Wires" and I can categorically say that it is the saddest song ever written.
Who would you call first if you won the lottery? My mother.
Last time you saw your best friend? She's upstairs.
Are you in high school? Yes.
What jewelry are you wearing? None, at the moment.
Is anyone on your bad side now? Not really.
What's the first thing you do when you get online? Facebook. Email.
Do you watch Grey's Anatomy? Nope.
How do most people spell your name? Incorrectly haha. Jacklyn. Jacqueline. Jakie. The latter is my personal favorite. How can you screw that one up?
Would you wear a boy/girlfriends clothes? Yes.
Where do you work? Currently unemployed.
What are you doing tomorrow? School. Stage crew.
Is Justin Timberlake becoming the next Michael Jackson? God, I hope not.
Favorite name for a girl? Not sure. Uhhhhhhh... maybe Susan. Not Sue, not Suzie. Susan.
Favorite name for a boy? Either Max or Jasper.
Will you keep your last name when you get married? No, probably not.
When was the last time you left your house? Today.
Do you return your cart? Yes?
Do you have a dishwasher? Haha. I am the dishwasher.
What noise do you hear? The dryer.
Would you survive in prison? No.
Who is the youngest in your family? I am, sort of.
If all of your friends were going on a road trip, who would most likey overpack? Myself.
Do you know anyone with the same name as you? No, not full name.
What's the last thing you purchased? Food of some sort. Fruit...
Do your siblings ever pay for stuff for you? Rarely haha.
What brand are your pants right now? Charlotte Rousse.
Ever been to Georgia (the state)? Yes.
What irritates you most on the internet? Uh, perverts?
What brand is your digital camera? Canon Powershot. I love it.
Do you watch movies with your parents? Yes.
What song best describes your life right now? Not sure. Maybe "Missed the Boat."
Do you own expensive perfume/cologne? Ralph Lauren is about as expensive as I go.
Are you taking college classes right now? Three APs. English, Calculus BC as well as Psychology.
Do you like sushi? Yessss.
Do you get your hair cut every month? Nope.
Do you go online everyday? Almost.


Until next time.
Peace. Love. Happiness.
Jaclyn

If There's a Rocket Tie Me to It. Snow Patrol

Been very busy.
and tired.
This is going to be short.

No boys.
Show is taking over my life.
School is blechh.
I acutally enjoyed Twilight.
Have a date to Snowball.

Done.

TWILIGHT

Say Aha! Santogold

So... whats new? Is this in bold? Can't quite figure that little thing out sorry, I accidentally pressed the wrong button. Sorry for the last post I was a little screwed up in the head when I wrote it. I just wanted to log on to clarify that. Its not so bad anymore. School is amazing. Might as well take you through my day.

Coyne is like a weird stand up act.. that you don't know if you want to laugh at it... or cry.
Wills is pretty sweet when hes not poking fun at my lifestyle choices in creepy ways.
Dugan is lovely haha. Everyone in my class has a future in interior design thanks to her.. oh yeah and we do calculus...
Mr. I is always a good teacher.
I love Bud although I am quickly becoming one of the worst Spanish students.. I try.. sigh..
And WARD IS AMAZING. SO AWESOME.
Its official. Her and Borusiewicz are the two most amazing teachers in the world. I love that class.


But yeah. I should go.
Peace. Love. Happiness.
Durk Out!

The Sound of Pulling Heaven Down. Blue October

I'm kind of going crazy. He doesn't seem to be interested whatsoever.. but it physically hurts when he ignores me. GAH. I'm feeling a little pathetic. And useless. I really would rather he just told me if I did something wrong?

I feel like my brains are going to spill out across the keyboard.

I can't keep so many thoughts in my head at one time, its dangerous. I decided that it has been too long since I SERIOUSLY blogged. I felt the odd sensation that I needed to write. Not that I necessarily want to, but that if I didn't the words would rip straight out of me onto paper anyway. So I chose the computer, deciding that if the pen was mightier than the sword, than the keypad is surely mightier than the crazy chest bursting time bomb trying to go off within me. I guess I should start with what I have been up to lately. I never seem to remember all the things that I want to write about. I think so much at one time, that I end up forgetting and getting frustrated and then quitting far too early (see nearly all other bloggings). But I vow to earnestly try to remember all the pointless shit that I wanted to ramble about in the first place.

AND away we go....

As of late the movie crew have decided that in order to spark intelligent conversation, there can not be more than 3 people in the room. Four bad, three amazing, two acceptable, one fucking crazy. Rule number 2- Alex is not allowed. You see, Alex says things before thinking about them. In the same night that he blasted interracial couples, he talked about wishing he had a time machine. He probably should use that time machine to go back and completely erase the prejudiced hoopla that escaped his brain.
The conversations mostly revolve around God. The taboo of all taboos. The one sure good in the world among the millions of vile evil acts taken out in his/her name. Kevin and I are mostly in agreement on this subject. We both love God very much, but clearly find it hard to comprehend belief structures. I know I am going to offend nearly everyone by saying that I love the idea of simply being a good person with a spiritual nature. Gandhi once said that all religions are true, and I sincerely wish that everyone believed this. They all center around good being good and evil being evil with, in my opinion some minor differences. But why violence, prejudice? Why are people, who claim to be dedicated to doing the work of God, also killers, rapists, racists etc. I think I may be straying off topic, and I don't really like to tread the line between acceptable and offensive writing, so I will stop with this subject.

Our group, besides dealing with issues that are way beyond any human's mental capacity, has been struggling with its own problems. Dana, who I do love very much, regardless of what some people think, has been causing somewhat of a rift. I am downright offended by what she says sometimes. Honestly if you have a problem with me I would rather you tell me to my face than sending Sarah cryptic text messages about "the others" corrupting her and manipulating her. I must be frank when I say that true manipulation is crying on the phone to your so called best friends threatening to kill yourself for not being with them, even though you were clearly invited. And then telling them everythings fine and that you were joking. Suicide is no joke. It is a serious matter and I am hurt by the fact that you would play that card with us. We stood by you when the guys told us that you were changing Sarah for the worst. I would appreciate it if you wouldn't mindfuck us like that. Thanks.

On a lighter note, I have nearly finished my summer reading. It feels wrong saying that sentence with 20 days left until school, and not 20 hours. The Road was creepy. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime was an insightful look at an autistic boy. Life of Pi was fantastic! It is beautiful and sad and sickening. Its one of those books where you don't know how to feel at the end because 14 different emotions are seeping out of you.
I have been reading The Sea for some time now. If you know me well, you will be aware that normally I speed through books. And while the Sea is by far the shortest of my books, I haven't been able to wrap my head around it. The others seem so colorful by comparison. Although the Road is very dark and the others are too in their own way, the very much realistic events in the Sea just get to you. The premise is essentially a widower looking back at his past in order to figure out his future. I wonder if I can learn anything from the past. Sometimes I will sit and ponder, thinking about mistakes I made, or things I should have said differently. But I don't think the character is examining his past because he feels like he needs to learn, I think he is trying to escape the somewhat zombie like state he has been in since the death of his wife. He just wants to feel something again, which is awfully tragic. Sorry I don't mean to bore you with my terrible analysis of my latest read. I'll move on.

I love my sister. More than any other person in the world. Lately she has been so angry with everyone and it is getting her in trouble. Shes even been lying to me. She told my mother that the only person she can tell everything to is her friend Nicole. That sucked to hear. I thought I was her best friend. I protected her when I knew I should have told my parents about stupid stuff she did, and she says that she can't trust me with everything. I tell her everything and it just sucks when you find out that the person you're closest to doesn't trust you anymore. I don't know what I did. Oh, well. She has been getting into a ton of trouble lately and even threatened my mother. We all had a long talk and she said that she just lets all her emotions build up inside of her, and then they just end up rocketing out of her. I suggested that she go see someone to talk to, but she got sort of offended. I tried to explain to her about when I used to go see Kim and how much it helped but she really didn't listen. Sigh...

I am really trying to stay off the depressing subjects, but I keep finding them. Surprisingly enough, I am not unhappy at all lately. I have been making some changes which I feel are really good for me. I started working out again, and have been eating much healthier. I am much more relaxed after I exercise. I think I really needed to start worrying about myself for once. If you know me very well, you also know how much I obsess over how other people are feeling. Kevin understands because we are the two most empathetic people in the world. We feel bad for people in movies, and even yell at them or get embarrassed when they make mistakes. Although I am not as bad as he is; Kevin holds his breath during drowning scenes in movies. But yes, I must admit that being a little selfish can be good once in a while. Not to mention that my dreams of an awesome abdominal area are just a couple months of hard work away.

Today I was reading an interview/article about Robert Downey Jr. in Rolling Stone. The man is fascinating. He is completely crazy, changes from day to day. I can hardly understand his superfluous manner of speaking, he says the strangest stuff, constantly speaking in metaphors. Although he tries to escape his tragic past, it is part of what makes him and his career so remarkable. Kudos to you, Robert.
Whilst on the subject of actors and movies and things I did today, I should mention a wonderful little movie I watched today called the Jane Austen Book Club. Clearly all the men are going to steer away from this one, but ladies if you are looking for a good chick flick head straight for this one. Oh and both men and women should check out Pineapple Express, possibly the funniest movie of the year. James Franco is a god when playing a drug dealer. And to think the role was almost Rogen's. Sigh.

Don't even ask about the love life. Its non existent. Thats right. STILL extinct. Apparently never to be resurrected. GAH. Its almost cruel because I am such a sickly, hopeless romantic. I think I will just wait until college.

Speaking of romantic, I must say that although I was originally displeased with Breaking Dawn, it has come to grow on me, and I am glad Mrs. Meyer ended it the way she did. Bravo!


And I think this is where I stop. I was going to keep going, but I once again forgot where exactly I was going with this thing. Eh, well.
Goodnight all.

LIFE IN TECHNICOLOR. COLDPLAY

I felt that it was completely necessary to capitalize the title for this one. I had what was quite possibly the best night of my life last night, and not even the creepy foreign man seated next to me could ruin it!

First off.. Coldplay was unbelievable. Absolutely stunning. Better than Dave or Rufus. It also helps that Chris Martin is so undeniably gorgeous. The stands at the Wachovia Center were packed, and Julia and myself were seated... well.. not in the greatest section, but it didn't matter.

We left quite early and arrived around 7ish. We walked around, I bought some merch etc. Then we went in as the first openers came on. Forget the guys name, although he seemed to drop it after every song in an attempt to sell the "limited" number of CDs that he brought with him... SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION... (He is a Drexel student though) Then Santogold, who started off with L.E.S. Artistes. Wonderful song, I recommend you listen. This was right about the time that creepy foreign man sat down next to me and offered me a beer. After I explained that I wasn't even 18, let alone 21, he commented that he didn't even know if he was allowed to be seated next to me.. strange...

And then...
the lights dimmed..
and Life in Technicolor erupted.

Among the other songs on the set list (and the TWO encores, 5 then 2 songs each) were (pardon me if I forget some..):
Violet Hill
In My Place (one of my favorites, I nearly cry when he sings the "Please, please" interlude thing)
Viva La Vida (to which we had a sing-a-long, as Mr. Martin referred to it)
God Put a Smile Upon Your Face (A very interesting version filled with strange sound effects)
The Scientist (the whole band lept off stage and ran to the back, deciding that they had spent enough time with the people in the front rows, and played it entirely acoustic, accompanied by harmonica)
Yellow
Lost!
42
Lovers in Japan
Yes
Strawberry Swing
Politik
Green Eyes
Fix You
Clocks
Death Will Never Conquer (Sung by the drummer, as promised on their website)
Talk
Death and All His Friends
The Escapist
andddd the Dubliners, which was played at and increasing speed..

Chris Martin, stopping halfway through a song during the encore, apologized for rescheduling the concert, which was originally supposed to be June 29th (which would have really sucked because then I would not have been able to attend). "Oh shit, by the way, sorry we had to reschedule. The label told us that we would need to have nose jobs before the release of the new album and its my fault because I scheduled them that day..."

But yes... I nearly cried 3298751 times that night, out of sheer awe, or just the beauty and amazingness of the music. I have some terrible videos which i probably won't even bother uploading... Maybe one.. Violet Hill is the only semi good one. Not really sure how to use the uploader on this thing, so I'll experiment.

Nahh.. took entirely too long, so I gave up...

So.. look up "Bigger Stronger".. its one of the first songs they ever recorded, and its wonderful.


Well goodnight. I'm tired.

About A Girl.

THE ACADEMY IS... NEW SONG!!! so amazing.
myspace.com/theacademyis

listen. you must.

anyways.
whats new with you guys? anyone? roe has a new blog! so excited!
so. scarlett, dana, kelly and alex are m.i.a. for a while, therefore its just been kevin, sarah and i. interesting. today is day four for me for no meat, and like, seven months for sarah. whoa.
phil never called me last friday, but whatever. MAN FAST! love it.

dont really have much to talk about. the meet on saturday was horrible. i hit my head on the pool while doing backstroke and got killed by those beastly aquatic girls. im tired of trying anymore hah.

only a little bit until Coldplay concert! and then BREAKING DAWN. im so pumped, although i still need to do a lot of summer reading.... sigh...

im kind of done. never know what to write anymore. might get on later to write. not feeling it right now. im really tired because last night sal and josh came to the house and julia and i talked to them for a good hour and a half outside. psh. im gonna go nap.

Possibly the Coolest Thing Ever.

Yeah.
Watch.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=pMRosGMyJ60&feature=related

"It's been very nice wasting time with you, Peter Peders."

Hola. Back again.

Anyone see the Tony's last night? They were spectacular, with the exception of Whoopi as the host... I wasn't really feeling it. In the Heights looks amazing, although I am still eager to see 2007's winner, Spring Awakening. I am disappointed, however, that the original Moritz, John Gallagher Jr., has not only retired from his role, but also quit his band, Old Springs Pike. Sigh...

Did anyone else notice that Cry Baby became a musical!? And then John Waters himself came to introduce the preview?!?! Awesome.

Speaking of the amazingness that is John Waters, I watched an awesome movie today with his Hollywood twin, Mr. Steve Buscemi. Interview stars a whole of two people, Buscemi and Sienna Miller in a crazy alcohol driven movie about, what else, and interview (gone awry). Its pretty much my new favorite movie. The entire time, a journalist and a soap star battle it out on a psychological field, each hoping to gain the upper hand on the other.

But yes, moving on. Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends comes out tomorrow. I'm pretty pumped.

My dad told Julia and I that he would buy us tickets to see Coldplay for our birthday.. SCORE!

Today went pretty good, although I am still hoping to find a job! Fingers crossed everyone.

Peace and Love,

Jackie.

The Wish. Josh Canova

Hm. Life is becoming increasingly complicated. Its annoying, because I swore to myself that I would learn to relax after school ended. HAH. Right.

My brain is fried, I'm unemployed, and currently stuck between two potentially good situations. I honestly have no idea what I'm doing anymore. I hate the way in summer that days seems to bleed together. It makes me anxious and nervous... as if i needed more of that.

Psh. I'll finish this later I guess.

No Tomorrow. The Blackouts

Well. I'm bored. Boring seems to describe my life lately. Sigh.
Prom was the funnest night ever. EVER. Which is probably why this weeks seems so boring in comparison.
Friday, I rushed home, jumped off the bus and ran to Julia's car. Steve had told me I had to be ready by 4:30. Holy shit. Julia drove me to gparentals where Diane was waiting to do my hair. Apparently my hair is really long... she had to tie it in knots to shorten it... anyways. She is a goddess and managed to finish by 3:15. Got to my dad's, shaved and put on my dress. Julia put makeup on my face, because I am retarted and never wear it. And then, I waited. And waited. Julia's date came around 5ish. He's hotttttttttt. Anyways. Steve ended up showing up at like 5:30. Traffic was bad and he got lost at Jesse's. We went back to his house for a good 5 minutes and then went to Carolyn's. Jesse met Bern there and then they went to Hackett's. All of us left around 7:30ish for the prom. Steve and Luke RACED down the street... we managed to slow to around 80 when we went past a cop.. whoops. Anyways, Alex forgot her I.D. so Luke had to stop home. Kayla and her date passed us.. his car has a broken hose for the back windshield.. when he then used to spray Steve's car.. haha.
Got to prom. Took pictures. Then DANCED. The girls looked beautiful in their dresses.. and the boys were so handsome in their tuxedosss. LOS SMOKINGS!
Brendan's afterward. It was fun. I MISS PROM!

Yeah. i really just dont feel like writing anymore. I thought I was in the mood, but nah... maybe tomorrow.

(Insert Here)

The past few weeks have been busy. Duh. Show.
I miss my friends dearly.
Prom is next week! WTF?
My grades are ridonkulous. I was so busy worrying about my Physics grade that I didn't notice how good some of them were.
I'm only 50 pages into Wuthering Heights. Sigh.. its harder to read than I anticipated. But sadly, it is at my mom's right now.. and I hardly have any homework! Gosh! And I'm really enjoying it so far.
I'm just hanging out right now, avoiding a math project (which just for the record, is impossible).
I'm listening to music right now, so I'd like to give you a list of my top ten songs (this list will deff change over time).
In no particular order:

Fake Plastic Trees- Radiohead
Across the Universe- Rufus Wainwright
Hyper Music (or Map of the Problematique)- Muse
The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot- Brand New
Dead Souls- Joy Division
In My Place- Coldplay
Angel- Massive Attack
The Funeral- Band of Horses
The Boys Are Too Refined- The Hush Sound
With You- Linkin Park

All the 80s songs are starting to get on my nerves. Ugh. If I hear Kids in America one more time, I'm going to snap. People are raving about the show, which is good. I still like it after about 10 times.
Took my AP English essay thing. It was hard, but I hope I got into the class.

God I am just rambling about anything. Maybe I just don't feel like writing right now?

Total Eclipse of the Heart. Bonnie Tyler

BACK TO THE 80s: THE TOTALLY AWESOME MUSICAL is in full swing. Except we have yet to run through the whole thing completely. I made running crew, but i am the clear com. Which kinda sucks. I sit on a stool with headphones on waiting for Mr. Allen to yell at me, and then I give directions to people. I am in Tech Wing along with some pretty cool people. From what I've seen of the show so far (and its not much considering for the most part I am behind a wall) its going to be cool. The Allens have kind of been flipping out. Its terrible that I get to hear every word of it on the clear com... Mr. Allen can have a wee bit of a potty mouth. But enough of that.
I will have absolutely no life for the next 3 weeks.
I lost my copy of Wuthering Heights. I got like, 20 pages into it and lost it two weeks ago. Its frustrating me, because I really want to read it (when I get the time). I have spent around an hour each day for a week trying to find it. So yeah.
What else is new?
This post is completely useless I guess.... sigh.
Julia is going to get annoyed with me. I can't stop singing 'Total Eclipse of the Heart,' hence the title.....

Peace Love and Harmony.
J Durk.

Rabbits Are Roadkill on Rt. 37. AFI

^Clearly, I have a ton of respect for the Easter bunny^.
But what else should you expect. The kids left this morning after only one day with us. Fuck. And Jesus was kind enough to send me a visitor this morning...... Gee. Thanks.

This break has been somewhat uneventful.. and therefore relaxing.

Wednesday I went to Scarlett's. What else is new. We played Rock Band and just plain hung out.
Thursday was odd. Julia and I ran to the bank with my father and then went to Widener's caf for lunch with my mother and a friend from work. Then Julia and I went to pick up her friend Bobbie, Jen Davis and Peggie York. I haven't seen the latter two in like, years. It was an odd reunion. All three of them smoked in the backseat while I basically stuck my head out the window. They asked if the smoke bothered me... duh. I explained to them that I had asthma and they exclaimed "Oh my God, we're going to kill her!" Ahh.. Its so strange being so close to my sister and trying to grasp the fact that our crowds are drastically different. The three of her friends tried to convince me to go party with them... I told them I didn't drink or smoke.. or do coke. They said "Oh wow! We're going to turn you bad. You're going to wake up tomorrow with a beer in one hand and a blunt in the other!" Okay. Still waiting for that.
In all seriousness, it wasn't too bad. We went to the mall, and I discovered that Jen and Peggie and I all enjoyed some of the same literature. We ran into Marg, and it turned into a weird St. Mads reunion. But, not really, because as Marg's boyfriend started to walk toward us after we waved, she literally pulled him back and they left.. talk about awkward. Bobbie and Peggie nearly died laughing.
After we went to KOP, Julia and I dropped the three off at Bobbie's house and went to grab dinner at Double Decker. That was fun. We talked about, what else, our lack of love lives. Julia and I have a nice understanding of this. We like different guys, but the same. I have a very precise model in my mind, which usually ends up being completely different than the guy that I fall for. But no worries, I am still looking, haven't seen anything lately that I like. Julia on the other hand is struggling to hold on to a guy who doesn't seem to want to commit. Ugh. Men.
We went home and watched Enchanted. Awesome movie. Happy Ending. What else can two emotional teenage girls ask for?

Friday.
Woke up at 8. Read til 9. Went on my computer for an hour. Read for another 4 hours. By 2, I decided I needed to get out of bed. Got in the shower. Julia was already gone. This is a clear sign that I was not feeling myself. If Julia beats you out the door, something is clearly wrong with you. I went and ran some errands with my mother, who commented on my unusually tired state. I haven't been sleeping great, and naturally my darling mother picked up on it. Great. We went home. By the time Julia got back, it was 5 and Jen Mae was tagging along behind her. We decided to wait until the kids got here from NC (where they were staying with their Aunt) to go to our dad's. First, Julia and Jen and I went to grab dinner. I headed over to Double Decker again, and sadly realized that I was becoming one of those mindless zombies who went to Double D's every night out of convenience. Ew. I was going to need to find something else to eat on Saturday. Ran into Pat Z. Weird. I'm not so sure he recognized me.. or he could have been ignoring me, but I think the former explanation sounds nicer. Ran into Scarlett's brother too.. He lives there. But hey, who am I to talk. I just ate there two nights in a row. Ahhhh... Went home just as the kids arrived, only to leave like 10 minutes later. I went to my dads and then got ready and went (where else?) to Scarlett's. We watched half of Shrooms, and shitty TV horror movie, which also scared the hell out of me. I tried desperately to ignore Alex, for I was pissed at him. But stupid Frenchman, he is impossible to stay mad at. Kevin gave me a strange look, seeming to say "Wow, you suck at aloof-ing." Oh well. He probably has no clue what he did. But I do. And I decided to give him yet another chance. See, giving Alex more rope is always dangerous, because he always seems to hang you with it. Ah well.
Julia picked me up with Jen Mae and some kid Bill in the car. They had come from some party, and were heading back to Jen's. I got home and read before I hit the sack.

Saturday.
Woke up, went out to breakfast with my favorite grandmother. Oh yes. Sarcasm was definitely intended. I hated Julia for leaving me alone to face her. Ugh. Went to my mom's and slept. Alot. Then did my history essay, which I thought was good, but in retrospect I probably should have checked over it rather than just sent it. Had tacos for dinner! YAY for breaking the Double Decker pattern. Divinia and Jimmy came over. We made fun of Divinia for slicing the lettuce PERFECTLY. Haha. Okay, maybe you had to be there. We decided to watch August Rush, which is pretty much my new favorite movie. Jonathan Rhys Meyers.... oh yes. Watched the end of Sound of Music after. In response to Roe's crush on a certain older man, I would like to confess my love for Christopher Plummer's suave character in the movie. When he and Julie Andrews dance at the party, and then later sing "Something Good," my heart crashes in my chest. I'm a sucker ;]

Happy Freaking Easter.
Woke up at 6:40 A.M. to say bye to the kids. Went back to bed at 7ish and just closed my eyes for an hour. After tossing and turning I decided just to get up. And I've basically been sitting here for 3 hours. Only moved to get a shower. So here I am. BAM!




In all seriousness, Happy Easter. Christ is Risen!

Cheated Hearts. Yeah Yeah Yeahs

I miss my Roe. I don't see her anymore. It makes me sad. I need my second mother back. COME BACK TO ME!!!
In other news, I still have no prom date. SHIT. haha. Everyone has one. Oye Vey.
This post is utterly pointless.

Hot in Herre. Nelly

I'm being a loser and listening to the Harry Potter 5 Soundtrack.. the movie group came over last night and we watched it. Naturally I cried when Sirius... well..you know.
This weekend has been boring. Friday couldn't do anything. Saturday morning I woke up at 645 (yay!) to take my SATs. Yep. Nothing like PMSing during a five hour test. Last night I went out to dinner with my mommom (the one that hates Julia and I). Afterward Sarah, Scar, Kevin, Alex and Kelly came over. We watched HP, I cried.
So since Friday, I have been working out. P90x is freaking intense. I can barely walk. Naturally Julia is fine. Partly due to my current mental state, I've been freaking out about my body, but hey.. I really want to get in shape. So yeah.. my mother tells me I'm pretty, but I kinda wanna do something for myself. So no worrying. I'm not going to stop eating and start freak exercising!

Until later.

Always Love. Nada Surf.

Happy day after Valentine's! I hope everyones was full of love.

First off I would just like to express my immense gratitude to all my friends and family for always being there. I LOVE YOU more than anything in the world.

Today we had a retreat. It wasn't as bad as expected. I actually like O'Haras masses, the music is what keeps me entertained. And as long as Rossi doesnt give the homily, I'm good.

JULIA GOT HER LISCENSE.
CASEY IMED HER.
She is freaking out...


Uh, yeah there is nothing to talk about at all.
MUCH LOVE,
Jackie.

P.S. I need a prom date?? SHIT.

Carcinogen Crush. AFI

Hola. Que Pasa?
Yeah.. enough of that. How are you. I'm stressing so I decided to blog. Got a lot to do this week mannnn. Haven't talked to someone in quite some time and its kinda bothering me.. but that could be because we have only one class together.. hopefully its not for another reason. And no, Roe, not you.. duh...
What is new? Not much actually.....
Hot physics guy is still very hot haha.

Friday went to Scarletts.. what else would you expect. I should upload pictures.. like.. alot.. haha. Sorry Roe I still owe you the shitty dodgeball pics I took. I'll get around to it as soon as I get around to wrapping your present... ahhhh..

Saturday everyone came here and raided my record collection.
And Kelly also stole like 10 of my cds. Ahh well.

I always log on here thinking I'm going to write something profound.. and then.. no. I die.

Hmm.. I'll make a list of songs to listen to..
1. Band of Horses- The Funeral
2. Keane- Atlantic
3. Jimi Hendrix- All Along the Watchtower
4. The Crystal Method- Weapons of Mass Distortion
5. Cobra Starship- My Moves are White (White Hot, That Is)
6.



Ahh.. I fucking suck. Julia just texted me. I borrowed her calculator last night and forgot to put it back in her purse. She had to borrow someone elses for her Physics test today, but all the equations were in hers.. she failed the one part. WHY DO I SUCK? God damn.

The World Has Its Shine (But I Would Drop It On A Dime). Cobra Starship

Mental Health Day.
I stayed home. Slept a while. It was nice. I thought alot. Thats the worst part about having free time. I tend to think too much. Mostly about whether decisions I made/have to make are/were right. Oye vey.
I woke up around 9:30. Ate some cheeriossss. Watched St. Elmo's Fire.

Billy: Jules, y'know, honey... this isn't real. You know what it is? It's St. Elmo's Fire. Electric flashes of light that appear in dark skies out of nowhere. Sailors would guide entire journeys by it, but the joke was on them... there was no fire. There wasn't even a St. Elmo. They made it up. They made it up because they thought they needed it to keep them going when times got tough, just like you're making up all of this. We're all going through this. It's our time at the edge.

What an awesome quote. Its too bad that, scientifically speaking, that entire speech is incorrect, but I'm willing to ignore that if you are.
Typical 80s teen movie. I love it.

Then after watching that, I went upstairs, and did some history homework while listening to the Frays album. Which by the way, I forgot how depressing that thing is. After like the first song its all downhill. But its okay because its amazing.

Bob called not long after that and picked me up. I went to my moms and did some more homework before watching Clerks.

Coroner: My only question is how did she come to have sex with the dead guy?
Dante Hicks: She thought it was me.
Coroner: What kind of convenience store do you run here?

Oh yes. This is a must see. Just two guys goofing off at a store, and the one bitches the whole time about how he was supposed to be off that day.

Randal Graves: Oh what, what's with you, man? You haven't said anything for like twenty minutes. What the hell's you're problem?
Dante Hicks: This life.
Randal Graves: This life?
Dante Hicks: Why do I have this life?
Randal Graves: Have some chips, you'll feel better.
Dante Hicks: I'm stuck in this pit, working for less than a slave wages. Working on my day off, the goddamn steel shutters are closed, I deal with every backward ass fuck on the planet. I smell like shoe polish. My ex-girlfriend is catatonic after fucking a dead guy. And my present girlfriend has suck 36 dicks.
Randal Graves: 37.

Oh well. my connection is lost. hopefully this will post?
Any way i have to get back to more homework. JOY!


Stay cool.
Jackiieeee.

Vienna. The Fray

Well. I did it. It was hard and it sucked, but I did it. For once I decided to put myself first. I just hope he can forgive me. I don't want it to be weird again, but believe me it would have been weirder if I had given in. I'm so sorry, but I just couldn't do it again.

I love my friends who have stood by my decision even though I look like a douchebag.

Life on Mars? David Bowie

I'm totally getting back into the usual flow of life. Thank God. Its about fucking time.
Going to stage crew again! ITS SUPER. Although I do miss when like EVERYONE was on it. Oh well. Who knew Saturdays at school and crappy Kentaco food would be so gooooooood.
Maura is now on crew! YAY!
Today at school was bizarre.
Instead of doing math in math class, we used motion detectors.. and then made pamphlets for Dugan's son's wedding?
Some girl had a kind of breakdown today in William's and just walked out of class. Left all her stuff.
Borusiewicz attacked me with a dead ferret today.. actually 3 sewn together. Weird. She was demonstrating how an aside works and beckoned me to the front of class. As if that wasn't weird enough I had to stand there with my eyes closed while she rummaged through a closet and pulled something out.. Everyone laughed and I heard Dinh yell "Squirrel???" You see I have a fear of squirrels and Dinh thought she pulled a squirrel out of the closet. So like 3 seconds later I feel this furry thing.... and BAM. FERRETS.
And to top that off we watched yet another abortion in Morality Class. Oh God.

I miss the kids.. and Casey.. oye vey.

This is a short post. Listen to Hunky Dory by Bowie.. or the Sweeney Todd Soundtrack.

Ay. Dios mio.

I'm pretty confident that I'm slowing sinking into insanity.
I don't know what to think anymore. Lately, I've been quite.. how do I want to phrase this. Unhappy? Dissatisfied? I don't understand the world. I feel like I can't talk to anyone about it either. I really need to sort my thoughts out and I don't know how. I'm afraid that my friends will think I'm seriously overreacting, which is a possibility, or that I'm just insane. I don't get the world, or people's serious lack of respect and acceptance. I don't understand how people can expect so much out of one person. I hate the way I can't figure out exactly what I want to say. I need a mental health day, but I can't take one. Not now. I've seriously broken down alot. I'm not eating right, I can't find balance between schoolwork and everyday life. My days are bleeding together.
I want to see Kim again. But I can't. I don't want to go look for a new one either, it just wouldn't be the same. Everything is getting to me lately. Last night, they predicted snow. I wanted it so bad. I got up in the morning and literally cried. I don't know why. I never truly expected it at all. I'm having one of the worst freakouts ever. The worst part is, nothing can cheer me up long enough. Not Dinh's songs, not my mom's encouragement. I need these next two weeks to be over soon.
I don't know if I should even put this up.



Edit:
Sorry about this. Disregard.

Liar. Taking Back Sunday

Wow. So much has happened in the past week. Julia has lost her 3 best friends, and NONE was her fault. A little while ago, Casey got veryyyy drunk and Julia was worried and told her to slow down. Casey's mother, aka my dad's ex, is now in prison because she hits the bottle a little to hard. Julia was just worried that "like mother like daughter" would happen. So anyway, Casey swung at my sister and Julia pushed her. Then they got over it and we all hung out together. But about a two weeks ago, Casey, Stac, and Sine stopped answering Julia's calls out of the blue. The "JCSS" in their profiles becomes "LHMB," designed to include Alex Miller, rather than my darling sister. So Julia questions what happens and Casey tells her that things just can't stay the same. Julia is confused and texts Stac. Stac doesnt get back to her until the next day in school in which she writes "Im better friends with case so just stop textin me cause im tired of your shit." Ouch.
So last night, Chris Furm calls Julia and tells her that Case, Stac, Sine and Alex came over to Evan's while he was there, asking Chris to call Julia and tell her to come over. Apparently they were going to beat her up. Case was like a sister to Julia. And to me. We met 8 years ago, when my mom dated her dad. Then my dad dated her mom. But right now, I am prepared to rip her still beating heart out of her ass if she even touches my sister. The same with the others. Fucking bitches. Im so angry because Julia has never deserved this. Shes the one who cares the most to tell her best friend what is hard to hear, and she gets hurt. What the fuck? I would die if i lost Julia as a friend, and I am confident that they will come running back to her. If they dont, believe me they are shit. Nothing more than that. Worthless.
So believe me, if any of you even start anything with Julia, it will end bad for you, I promise. I can only hope that you realize what you have done, and are miserable because of it.
Don't think badly of me for saying this either. Im just fucking pissed. I have never seen her a mess. I'm the screwed up moody depressive one, not her.
I can't even imagine how she feels right now. If i lost Roe, Dig or Dinh I am confident that i would die.